Seth

Seth had an altogether unique batch of sentences for the 30 Sentences Project. Originally, he set out to write short sentences that formed a cohesive, comedic story but by the second or third day, “something”—he doesn’t remember what—conjured up the phrase “Letters from the Great Beyond” in his mind. Using a lot of puns and word play, the sentences were grouped into correspondences which had the feel of journal entries. Seth told us that this structure added a level of complexity which may have bogged him down and caused him to “not finish” the project. It’s true that Letter 14 ends mid-sentence, but the project is meant to be a personal experiment of creativity. So in my book, Seth did complete the project.

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Letters from the Great Beyond

1.
Dearest Martha,

You must be terribly stressed after my ‘incident’ last month and I’m sorry to think what a bundle of nerves you must be, but I hope my letters—which I should note, I’ve been able to write and send through a loophole I’ve found in the system—offer you some consolation but I must apologize for omitting my address as I would hate for a carelessly handled letter to bounce back and fall into the wrong hands and thus have the jig be up.

Kisses,
– Bert

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2.
Dearest Martha,

It has been a while since my last letter and I apologize but there has been an awfully lot of paperwork to go through these first few weeks, which has reminded me very much of doing taxes—why here’s more paperwork now.

Later,
– Love Bert

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3.
My dear Martha,

The other day I spoke to a man (who has been here a good deal longer than many of the others) to see if I could get a better understanding of what this place is all about, and would you believe it, he said he still hasn’t been assigned what they call a ‘final destination’—which has led to a great deal of restlessness and anxiety on his part; it is his theory that some clumsy soul has misplaced his processing paperwork.

– Love Bert

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4.
Dear Martha,

I miss you dearly—your embrace, your smell, that look you give…gave…me, your smile—and I do wish you could be here…of course that would require some dying on your part so just forget I mentioned it and go about living and I’ll see you when you get here.

Kisses,
– Bert

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5.
Martha,

I’m a bit miffed at the moment, for when I went to the cafeteria today to grab my lunch (boy did that take me back to my school days!) a man took a seat next to mine and simply started going on about how he shouldn’t be here, and how ‘unfair’ it all is, and how awful this place is (I’ll be the first to admit it’s nothing to write home about) and how he never ‘saw it coming’ when he got out of the jeep while on safari in Africa and began to tease a gorilla, and how it’s not his fault—but I tell you Martha, I think it was.

– Love Bert

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6.
Today we played hopscotch.

– Bert

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7.
Dear Martha,

I’m beginning to forget what it’s all like-that ‘living’ thing-and I’m constantly amazed that so many people are still doing it when life…rather…afterlife here is so easy and laid back, where one doesn’t have to worry and stress about bills and bosses, and what one will eat or wear, or keeping up with the Joneses—Martha I tell you, you can’t tell the Joneses apart here—for everybody looks the same in the cream colored linens that were issued us upon arrival.

Kisses,
– Bert

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8.
Martha my dear,

I’ve made the discovery that one does indeed need to worry about bosses here despite my previous assumption and that there are two main bosses; one of whom is—so I hear—very charismatic, good looking, funny, clever, has a wicked smile, perfect teeth, frequently sports a red suit, and (as a bit of a joke) occasionally uses a pitchfork to jeer at the other boss behind his back…if that can truly be said, for he always seems to be aware of what is happening around him and has an air about him which makes it difficult—or perhaps impossible—to look him directly in the eye, which I can tell you more about later but for now there’s a big hullabaloo nearby and I’m going to see what it’s all about.

– Love Bert

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9.
Martha,

It turns out that the source of the aforementioned hullabaloo—which could perhaps be more correctly categorized as a ruckus—was from a newcomer who had just arrived and was scared out of his wits despite—apparently—confessing to loved ones that he was ready to go and afraid of nothing…except, as it turns out, the unforeseeable suddenness of his demise, the details of which I didn’t quite catch.

Yours always,
– Bert

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10.
Dear Martha,

I’ve learned a bit more about what they call here one’s ‘final destination’ and apparently it has a good deal to do with one’s standing with the bosses in the previous life, although I must confess, I never knew much about either one although I do recall some sort of fairy tale or story my mother told me about such characters when I was a little one…but I counted it as rubbish, never imagining that I’d encounter either one in person.

Thoughtfully,
– Bert

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11.
The bagels in the cafeteria were burnt this morning, some things never change.

– Bert

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12.
Martha,

I’m learning the most curious things, and I’m dying to share it all with you.

– Bert

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13.
I’ve learned, Martha, that the boss who goes about dressed occasionally in a red suit goes by the name ‘Lucifer’ but I haven’t seen him late—why speak of the devil—There he is now!

– B

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14.
Martha dearest,

My mind is a mess today, for I’m beginning to recall some far off distant memories of