Ritzel

Ritzel is one of my favorite human beings. She’s been my little sister’s BFF since junior high so that pretty much makes her my other little sister, even if she never had to live through my reign of terror.

Ritzel thought that participating in the 30 Sentences Project and sharing her writing with a roomful of strangers was risky business. Rather than bow out, though, she took it on as an opportunity to be brave. On the day of the readings, Ritzel displayed some tell-tale signs of having the jitters. But as the sentences began to fall from her lips one by one, those of us listening wondered what she had to be nervous about. Her writing as well as the real-life story—with artistic embellishments and name changes—were utterly charming and sweet, just like Ritzel herself.

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Hello Nurse

I. INTRO

1. It seemed like a good idea less than 2 hours ago when we were laughing over drinks until we were actually walking through the dimly lit parking lot towards the North Tower.
2. As we neared the entrance, my right hand frantically searched for the frontward facing side of my lanyard–the one that flashed a minuscule logo of Cedars Sinai Hospital from my friend Danielle’s business card–while my left hand shifted my glasses up the bridge of my sweat-beaded nose for the millionth time since we left the car.
3. Emily looked over at me and said, ”I wish I had glasses, too; they make you look so smart.”
4. I barely heard her since my nervousness had taken over all of my senses but I managed to respond, “This is probably the dumbest thing we’ve done yet.”
5. Visiting hours were from 10 AM to 9 PM but between our chock-full schedules of school and work, Emily and I couldn’t squeeze in time during those hours to visit Claire–our good friend who was suddenly admitted to the hospital almost a week ago.

II. SECURITY GUARD

6. I had never snuck into a hospital before and was expecting the full extravaganza of a bustling staff a la Grey’s Anatomy to greet us and, worse, size Emily and I up and expose us in our Carebear-blaring scrubs for the nurse impostors we were.
7. But at 11:37 PM on a Thursday night, the only cavalry that was out to meet us was a lone security guard sitting past the automatic sliding doors.
8. It should’ve come as a relief but suddenly my head was flooded with panic as I wondered (yes, oddly for the first time that night) if nurse impersonation was a crime.
9. My lanyard was somehow downward facing again and I desperately fidgeted with it believing that flashing this nonsense business card was the golden ticket into the green room for nurses.
10. I was so consumed in all of my lanyard-business card shuffling that I appeared especially urgent to the guard, so much so that he hollered “Hope you get a longer break next time, ladies!” as we briskly walked past him to the elevator.

III. HALLWAY

11. The few seconds that made up the elevator ride were full of huge sighs of relief and bouts of hysterical laughter as Emily and I high-fived each other and complimented one another on our stellar impromptu acting skills.
12. We thought the hardest part of getting inside was over.
13. But as soon as the elevator doors opened, we realized the
pinnacle of this medical obstacle course was, in fact, passing through a hall of actual nurses while dressed up as fake nurses.
14. Being Filipino myself, I thought that if there was ever a time I could play to my advantage a Filipino stereotype–the one where “all Filipinos are nurses”–this was it.
15. And, luckily for us, the floor was relatively quiet (as in there were no medical emergencies requiring nurse hands on deck) making it more seamless to blend in amongst my people who didn’t bat an eye as Emily expressed phrases of being a freelance out-of-state nurse while I pretended to show her the ropes.

IV. ROOM – PART I

16. The first things I remember seeing were the various tubes intertwined on Claire’s arm and the nightly news blaring on the TV when Emily and I walked into her room.
17. She glanced towards our direction upon hearing the door open and close, turned her attention back to the news and instantaneously returned her gaze at us in a whiplash double- take fashion before shrieking, “What are you guys doing here?!”
18. Emily didn’t hesitate to swoop in and hugged her tightly as she whispered, “We’re busting you out of here.”
19. I, on the other hand, stood from a distance to absorb the delight wash over Claire’s face before saying, “We just wanted to tell cancer in person to fuck off.”
20. “In those hideous Carebear scrubs?” Claire asked and belted out her trademark laugh.

V. ROOM – PART II

21. We had a no more than 10 minutes of catching up with Claire and reliving our thrilling newly fortified personas as nurse impostors when the machinery surrounding her bed started to beep.
22. Emily and I turned to each other exchanging terrified looks as the beeps refused to cease leaving us to wonder what we were going to do once the real nurses come in, needles blazing and seeking our arrest for mocking their profession.
23. Truth is, there really is only one place to hide in any hospital room: the bathroom, to which we confined ourselves to as the legitimate night nurse made her way in.
24. The conversation between the night nurse and Claire was faint but from what I could hear between them it seemed the beeps were part of a routine check.
25. I did hear the night nurse ask “Did you just have visitors here?” to which Claire replied, “No, but it’s everything when my friends are here with me.”

VI. EXIT

26. The night nurse vacated shortly after, which we took as a cue it was time for us to retire from nursing.
27. We each both held Claire close before leaving and promised it wasn’t our last visit but also couldn’t guarantee our future visits would be as spectacular.
28. She, in turn, told us it was the second best thing to happen to her; the first, of course, is reserved for beating cancer.
29. Luckily for us, our exit down the same nerve-wrecking hallway was a breeze as there was even less staff on the floor; even the guard was missing from his post.
30. Just as the automatic sliding doors at the North Tower entrance were closing, the night nurse dashed out from the elevator and hollered out to us, “Hey, Carebears, come back soon; you made her day.”