Vicki

Mon 5/20
This is not the way I pictured it.

Tues 5/21
How did I picture it?

Wed 5/22
A career, 401K, white picket fence, 2-car garage, a Prius, travel itineraries for a demanding job that requires international travel and stays at 5-star hotels, an engagement ring and a wedding band, a mortgage, casual but sophisticated dinner parties, and contentment with it all.

Thurs 5/23
The dinner parties would include hors d’oeuvres, soup and salad, main dish, coffee and dessert.

Fri 5/24
I’d have help of course—girlfriends who love to cook and my sisters-in-law.

Sat 5/25
My husband would be in charge of the music playing softly in the background and entertaining guests.

Sun 5/26
I’d be in the kitchen with two trustworthy kitchen helper girlfriends, each of us focused on our stations and politely greeting guests as they intermittently come in and out of the kitchen.

Mon 5/27
Emily would be prepping the salads, Grace would be heating hors d’oeuvres and refilling the tray, and I’d be watching the roasted chicken in the oven while putting on finishing touches to the gazpacho.

Tues 5/28
Could it all be ruined if there were children in this picture?

Wed 5/29
Do I feel bad for asking such a question?

Thurs 5/30
No, I don’t.

Fri 5/31
And yes, they’d ruin the dinner party.

Sat 6/1
But, I’d feel bad asking parents not to bring their kids to a Sunday dinner.

Sun 6/2
So, fine, bring the kids, but I’m not babysitting, no sir.

Mon 6/3
Parents bringing kids get to supervise them.

Tues 6/4
Can they all just be contained in one bare germ-free room with no food allowed?

Wed 6/5
Please, kids, don’t touch any thing or furniture if your hands are greasy or dirty.

Thurs 6/6
They’ll eat macaroni and cheese at the kids table before they start whining for dessert, and go back to playing outside and watching “Hook” or “Fantasia.”

Fri 6/7
The adults, minus the one or two watching the kids, will lounge in the dining room sipping wine, reminiscing the “old days” before internet and cell phones and how weekly TV programs were strictly weekly, like Northern Exposure.

Sat 6/8
The women at the table will swoon over John Corbett, aka Chris in the morning, while the men will just drool at the mention of Janine Turner, aka Maggie O’Connell.

Sun 6/9
At 10pm, guests will be ready to leave, stumbling to collect their kids who are passed out on the couch.

Mon 6/10
My husband and I will say our goodbyes and head to the kitchen to wash dishes and plastic wrap leftovers.

Tues 6/11
I’ll pass out and sleep for the next 8 hours, sleeping in until the next morning because it’s Labor Day.

Wed 6/12
I’ll get up at 8:30, make a pot of coffee, listen to kpcc, and slather peanut butter and sweet tomato jam on a toasted English muffin.

Thurs 6/13
At around 10am, I’ll take a walk to the grocery store, buy avocados and bananas to make smoothies with, and pick up the paper.

Fri 6/14
Even as I walk toward the newspaper machine, I wonder, “Is this how I pictured it?”

Sat 6/15
I’ll say to myself, “Yes, I pictured this,” but then I’ll say, “Why aren’t I subscribing?”

Sun 6/16
“Why the hell am I paying a dollar fifty for a paper that was still only a quarter maybe five years ago?”

Mon 6/17
“I never pictured this.”

Tues 6/18
“Adults and children alike, walking on sidewalks, mindless to the folks they walk past, because all of their heads are buried in their damn iphones, forgetting that they, we, are the very fools making the prices go up on everything, newspapers included!”

Wed 6/19
“The only thing people in this day and age will ever be good at is sitting in front of a computer and moving a mouse!”

Thurs 6/20
“The most trying part of their day is deciding on what their facebook/twitter/instagram status is!”

Fri 6/21
I’ll think all this, and then I’ll think, “Who can blame them for being suckered into buying sleek thousand dollar Macintoshes and three, four hundred dollar iphones when they’re convinced they need it?”

Sat 6/22
Fuck this—I just want to go home and make smoothies, read my paper, kiss my loved one hello, and enjoy Labor Day for what it’s meant to be before I go back to work tomorrow.

Sun 6/23
Today, I’ll start writing my book.